Memories are a fickle thing; often dancing into our subconscious at times we least expect. This was the case for me recently as I reflected on the upcoming Mother’s Day weekend. A memory of me sitting in the living room of my childhood home suddenly flashed into my head. A large, brown braided rug covered the pine floors, and in the center of that rug stood my mother. She was on the phone using her bank’s telephone banking service. Today the memory seems so random, but as a child it was a common occurrence. My mother handled most of the day-to-day finances and telephone banking was one way she kept meticulous track of income and expenses.
“Parents especially play a tremendous role in creating early memories; often shaping the framework for how those memories are interpreted and applied.”
Current clients and prospects who have been through my discovery process know that earliest money memories are a focus point in those first meetings. These earliest experiences and relationships with money often shape lifelong attitudes toward how it is used. Parents especially play a tremendous role in creating early memories; often shaping the framework for how those memories are interpreted and applied.
Understanding this correlation between money and memories gave me reason to pause. Remembering my mother using telephone banking is such a simple and seemingly innocuous memory. And yet, when I give it more thought, I can also see the impact of that routine, practical financial responsibility overlaid across the pages of my own financial life story. That memory was there when I worked summer jobs to pay cash for my first car. It was there when I got my first full time job and began saving for retirement and a first home. It was there when I decided to cash flow undergraduate and graduate education to avoid student loan debt. It was there when I married and had to reconcile my financial past with my wife’s. Ultimately, it was there when I made a career change for the opportunity to do what I realized I always loved doing: financial planning.
“As valuable an exercise as understanding past money memories can be, however, it’s just as important to focus on the memories we’re making and shaping today.”
Reflecting on their earliest money memories helps investors gain a better understanding of what has shaped their attitude towards money. It also serves the dual purpose of providing their advisors insight into working and communicating with them better. As valuable an exercise as understanding past money memories can be, however, it’s just as important to focus on the memories we’re making and shaping today.
With kids, it’s often said that “more is caught than taught.” As a parent myself, contemplating childhood memories is an especially good time to reflect on the “unintentional” lessons I’m instilling my own kids. As they observe me interact with my finances, am I placing too strong an emphasis on savings and investing and setting them up for a belief that money cannot be enjoyed? Am I being too lax with budgeting and teaching them fiscal irresponsibility? Am I holding possessions with an open hand and demonstrating generosity, or a closed hand due to a misplaced importance on materialism?
“Big or small, our actions, attitudes, and approach to money has potential to shape those around us.”
Perhaps you’re reading this and your child raising years have ended. Maybe you never had the desire or opportunity to have kids at all. Whatever your situation, we all have a sphere of influence. Big or small, our actions, attitudes, and approach to money has potential to shape those around us. As Mother’s Day approaches, I’m thankful for how my perspective on money has been shaped by memories provided by my parents.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. And to everyone… keep making memories.
